No accident

Thankfully Abbie has been peaceful, happy and cooperative today, allowing me to catch up on many long overdue phone calls and emails. I contacted companies about orthotics, a listening program and nutrition this morning, sent emails to a homeopath, some MDs, the nursing agency, and folks who are helping me bring the Hope Project into reality. I've decided I need an administrative assistant!!

But, Abbie was certainly not neglected today. We had a good session at PT, where we continue to see reddened heels at the end of standing sessions, meaning she is now bearing weight using her whole foot and not just the ball and her toes. She was very loose on the bolster, and we made some progress at pinning down what is causing the external rotation in her left arm. It is a muscle group that sounds more like a constellation than human anatomy (Tarsus Minor?)

I would like to share with you part of an email I recieved recently from a woman I've not yet met, but who has stood in prayer with us. Her words were a very powerful confirmation for things I've been thinking and feeling over these past few months. Here are some of Julie's words:

"Maybe Abby's accident wasn't an accident at all. Perhaps she was placed in that pool, without fear, panic or pain, by God. She did just say "Jesus will keep me safe". Maybe that was His way of letting you all know that the events that were about to unfold were part of His plan for Abby, your family and many, many more. We don't get to see the master plan, just the part we play but faith tells me that Abby has a bigger purpose than to grow up a strong, healthy, "normal", child. God has given you this gift, knowing that you would know what to do with it. Knowing you would spread His word through her and maybe, keep a few other children safe in the process"

As the one who initially gave Abbie CPR poolside, I can tell you that she was gone from her body. God's Word tells us that if we are absent from the body we are present with the Lord, so I've always known and been comforted by where she was during the 30 minutes or so that she was gone. However, as I've thought about it more I've also come to believe, and agree with Julie, that it wasn't an accident. I think God offered up a very hard, long, challenging job, and I can see Abbie bouncing up and down saying "Pick me, pick me...I can do it!!" I truly believe that Abbie had a choice about whether to come back to us, and that she chose to do so knowing what would lay ahead for her.

When I told Ray about what I was thinking, he paused for a while and agreed, adding his own illustration. I was not in any shape to remain in the ER trauma room with Abbie while they continued rescusitation attempts, but Ray would not leave his little girl. He continued stroking her forehead and reassuring her as they were putting in central lines, doing chest compressions and shocking her. He says now, looking back, he doesn't know why he didn't just tell them to stop their compassionate but brutal attempts to revive her; why he didn't just tell them to let her rest peacefully. The only conclusion he came to is that God protected him from jumping in and derailing the plan for Abbie.

We are encouraged that we are right where we are supposed to be, and that perhaps Abbie was born especially for this mission -- bringing hope and faith is a privilege for the brave and the strong-hearted...Abbie has proven she is both, and we couldn't be prouder of her!